219

I went a day early to get weighed. I'm down one more pound.

I ate out (I mean REALLY ate out) on Friday night and Saturday night (especially Saturday night - have YOU been to the Bamboo Club in Scottsdale) and I'm down a pound.

I'm pleased.

What is your favorite dessert?

I did this on Facebook last night and got some great results. I'm not trying to sabotage myself or anything, I'm just curious. I saw a show on Food Network yesterday (The Best Thing I Ever Ate) and there were some things people mentioned that I never knew existed and wished I lived where these delights were created.

My favorite dessert, I have to say, is a REALLY good, quality chocolate croissant (I've had so so and even bad chocolate croissants - it has to be quality). Making my mouth water just thinking about one. And almost anything with peanut butter in it is going to be a winner.

What's yours?

Sketcher Shape-ups

I woke up many times this morning, beginning around 2:00 a.m., with a raging headache. I don't function well with a headache, much less exercise with one. (Honestly, who am I kidding?!? - ANY excuse NOT to exercise is my #2 goal, #1 being get over myself and get healthy.)

On the days I don't walk, I try to wear my exercise shoes. Does anyone have these?

They are Sketcher Shape-up sandals and I own 3 pair (black, brown, and a beige color, along with the Shape-up tennis shoes). I like the way they look, but am not sure if they honestly and truly tone my backside. It's been so long since my backside was toned (actually, if I think about it I really don't think my backside has EVER been toned) that I'm willing to try anything.

Anyway, my big feet are wearing these today and I am curious if anyone else owns/wears them and your thoughts on them.

Socks

Anyone have any favorite brand of socks they use? This is such a strange and random question, but this morning as I was walking on my treadmill (yes, 2 days in a row now thankyouverymuch) my socks got angry and rubbed my heel raw.

I am a sandals girl. I very, very seldom wear shoes that has the need for socks (even in the winter), so the socks I own are old and ones I've had for years.

Time for new ones I 'spose, but I want new ones that are soft and cushy and won't hurt me.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

An open letter:

Dear janitors of the women's restroom at work:

Your toilet paper and soap are AWFUL and are killing my hands and, um, other parts.

I'm drinking gallons of water a day and dread the need to use your facilities.

That's all.

A very chafed customer...

Recipe Time

Tried out a new recipe this weekend and man alive, it was TASTY (and spicy). Here goes:

CHILI LIME CHICKEN TACOS
4 boneless/skinless/fatless chicken breasts
5-6 small limes
1 heaping teaspoon of chili powder
garlic salt
black pepper
1 jar of salsa or green chili salsa
Frozen corn

Garlic salt and pepper the chicken breasts and put them in a crock pot. Juice all 5-6 limes. Add the chili powder to the lime juice and mix.

Pour lime juice mixture over chicken breasts. Cook in crock pot on low for 5-6 hours (my only complaint was I ended up cooking the chicken longer and the chicken became kinda mushy).

Shred chicken and add it back to the juice that is still left in crock pot. Add jar of salsa (I used 505 brand of green chili salsa - picture below - 140 calories for the ENTIRE JAR) and a couple of handfuls of frozen corn. Cook on low for another 30 minutes.

Eat with fat free or whole grain/wheat tortillas, lots of tomatoes, fat free sour cream, and a little cheese (you really don't need a lot of cheese, if any).

Enjoy!

(I think this is the BEST brand of this type of salsa out there!)

Another cool quote:

Patience - the ability to put our desires on hold for a time - is a precious and rare virtue. We want what we want, and we want it now. Therefore, the very idea of patience may seem unpleasant and, at times, bitter. Nevertheless, without patience, we cannot please God; we cannot become perfect. Indeed, patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, depends happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf
"Continue in Patience"
April 2010 General Conference

You are all seriously AWESOME!

I love my family and friends.

My friend Jenny texted me this morning at 6:00 to ask if I had gotten up yet to go walk. It totally irritated me and I replied back that I was actually getting up to shower since I needed to leave in an hour.

And then I wondered why I was bugged.

I had asked her and you - all of you - to hold me accountable. And she was just doing what I asked her to do, knowing what a rough week I have had getting up and she was just making sure I would do it.

I didn't of course.

But I appreciate her effort and will plan on reporting to her (and you) my progress in that department for now on.

Jenny Beth, THANK YOU for braving my irritation and annoyance (and you have had to KNOW it would have bugged me) and asking me to report.

This is EXACTLY what I need. You are ALL exactly what I need.

Thank you.

220

Lost 3 more pounds. This is without exercising and eating a little more "normal" foods (albeit MUCH smaller portions with low cal/low fat whatever it was). Last week I was afraid to eat anything, hence losing a much bigger number of pounds.

But I'm happy with this week's results and feel a little more rounded in what I'm eating. I think I'm starting to get it.

Next week I'm gonna kick some major weight booty!

(What a weird thing to say.)

Weight Day!

Getting weighed today.

Last week I was excited.

This week I'm nervous.

Update you soon...

A cool quote

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."

--Anna Quindlen

Hmm, a little appropriate after my last post, dontcha think?

Loathing... Unadulterated Loathing...

(That song is now in your mind, isn't it?)

Okay. I woke up loathing myself, AGAIN. Why do I do this? I wake up early enough (this morning it was 5:00) and KNOW in order to be successful at this, I NEED to get my booty out of bed and get on that treadmill. But I don't. I snooze and make excuses and just don't do it. I just don't.

No rhyme. No reason.

I came in to work this morning feeling all kinds of self-hatred and disgust. Seriously beating myself up good and hard. I talked to three people about it and all three told me I was being too mean to myself.

But if I'm not the one being hard on myself, who will be?

I guess I need to find a happy medium. Find the motivation (do I sound like an actor - "Where's my motivation?") to get out of bed each morning, knowing it's only going to do good things. I also need to forgive myself if I'm feeling a bit sluggish or off.

But really, I need to just get out of the friggin' bed in the morning and quit being such a lazy bum!

You loathe me too now, dontcha?

Feelin' Blah...

Woke up this morning with a headache and absolutely NO DESIRE to even THINK about food. That means I don't wanna have to think about what I'm putting in my mouth (and on my hips and in my gut and and and) and as a result, am feeling a bit blah.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

I didn't exercise this morning. I woke up in time to do so, but with the headache, I very easily talked myself out of it. I laid in bed and played Solitaire on my cell phone instead.

I am a rockstar. Yes, I know.

Okay, enough whining. I am not a huge fan of myself ANYWAY, but when the whining starts, I can't STAND myself. I suspect I am not alone in this.

So the whining will be done as of right...

NOW!

Thank you for listening ... well reading anyway.

Cool online calorie calculator

I went to Red Robin today and got a salad. The waitress was AWESOME and was intent on helping me stay to my minimal caloric intake and suggested I visit their website online for future eatin's there.

If you go to www.redrobin.com and ask to see their menu, you can then click on any of the menu items. It will ask you if you'd like to customize that order. You do.

Once you hit the customize button, you can either remove items on the right-hand side (so for my salad today, I asked to have the bread and chicken removed) or change things up on the left-hand side (I believe). I added light ranch dressing instead of the usual dressing that comes with it.

My salad started out as being almost 800 calories. With the reduced fat/low calorie dressing and eating only half of the salad, as well as not eating the bread or chicken, the calories came to around 350. (And yes, I realized after doing this how much cheaper it would be just to make this myself at home and bring it in. I think I need to invest in that salad dressing as it was some of the YUMMIEST low cal stuff I've ever had. No lie. You gotta try it!)

AWESOME. Why don't all of the other restaurants do this?!? If there are more that do, let me know who. It will make this a whole lot easier!

Things, they are a'changin'!

This is what my grocery store purchase was on Saturday.

Would someone please go check on my mom and make sure she hasn't fainted?

Loud and Proud

To all of my blog readers:

I want to know how much you weigh. I don't need to know who you are and actually want you to post your weight in my comments section as anonymous. It's easy enough to do.

If you have a Google account, be sure to sign OUT of it first off (top right corner where it says "Sign out"), then go back to my blog and hit the comments link and leave your weight.

I want to take the stigma away. It's easy to say and the more you say it, the easier it gets. I actually said it OUT LOUD today to someone in casual conversation. That was a first. And I didn't die. Or even hyperventilate.

Say it. Say. It. SAY IT!

"My name is anonymous, and I weigh 223 pounds."

June 18, 1941

June 18, 1941, was the day my dad was born.

Tomorrow is June 18, 2010, and I'm taking a day off of work (and therefore will not have a computer to blog on) to spend with my mom and sisters to celebrate and honor him.

This is our first year without him...

I'll get back to you on Monday. Have a great weekend everyone!

--Allan's daughter.

223

E I G H T P O U N D S ! ! !

I was hoping for 5, maybe 6. Nope, I got 8 and I couldn't be more giddy.

Do you see my smile from there? Can you hear me giggling?

I'm on my way!

Yee!!!

I woke up giddy this morning. I get weighed today.

How sick does that sound?!? (HA!)

I'll keep ya posted...

To Scale or not to Scale?

Followers:

I have a debate going on here at my office. Someone told me I needed a scale at my house (I don't currently own one) to keep myself in check with this whole weight loss regime. His arguments made total sense and I liked the thought of it.

Shortly thereafter this first conversation, another person in my office said I should ABSOLUTELY NOT (said very emphatically) have a scale at my house. That weighing myself only once a week at the doctor's office will be enough. Reasoning is weight fluctuates, especially a woman's weight, and weighing yourself on a daily/semi-daily/hourly basis will only be discouraging.

What are your thoughts on this? I'm genuinely wondering!

Who Knew?!?

Okay, if you know me at all, you know PEPSI is my drink of choice. Well honestly, water is my first drink of choice, but Pepsi has always been my soda of choice and I have drunk Pepsi since early high school. I've always loved it. Still love it. If you cut my veins open you will probably find some traces of Pepsi running through them.

But I can't have it.

When I met with the doctor for the first time last week, he said we are allowed to drink two diet sodas a day. I grossed out in my mind, as I do NOT like diet soda of any kind. That after taste is so not worth the sweetness of the diet soda. So I stay with water.

Until today.

Have you tried this stuff?

We have a soda machine in our office that gives us a choice of lots of different kinds of soda for only a quarter. Very seldom have I used this machine, even for my normal preferred sweet beverage as I'm not a soda sipper (meaning I only drink pop if it's with a meal and even then, not always).

Today has been hard. The growlies have started early and I'm feeling a little desperate. I had a high protein, low calorie meal replacement bar for lunch. It's teeny. Seriously itty bitty tiny. And I wasn't feeling satisfied.

At all.

So someone suggested I try this Coke Zero. I asked what the difference between that and Diet Coke was. Coke Zero is made with something more like Splenda along with aspartame. That intrigued me so I forked over a quarter and gave it a try.

Um, yum.

Where's My Motivation?

I have had a LOT of people ask me why in the world I decided to do this, and what was it that finally pushed me over the edge, per se, to go on a diet.

Oh there are lots of things.

It started with a doctor's visit I had about a month or so ago with a cardiologist. I was having some funky heart palpitations and had to do a stress test. I failed miserably. The doctor told me, TO MY FACE, that it was because I was too fat and out of shape and I needed to shape up.

I don't love that doctor.

The next was just a few days later here at the office. I was helping a customer around our office, introducing him to people and just being a general help to him for that day. At the end of the day, I was walking with him to the door and he asked me when my baby was due. I chuckled and said, "Oh, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat." He responded (sorry Mom), "Oh shit." It was the BEST reaction anyone could have done. I quickly assured him I wasn't offended (I really wasn't) and told him I had been planning on doing something about it. He's an author and about five minutes later gave me his book with an inscription that said, "Tara, you are hereby designated a MASTER LOOP CLOSER and thus may use the initials MLC as an official designation after your name. Congratulations. Mike Chaet, The Loop Guy."

He just felt bad. He should have. You NEVER ask a woman that. But I didn't feel bad. At all.

The next thing was yet another doctor visit, this time with my OB/GYN for my annual exam (I really HATE those things). We were chatting and I mentioned I'm hot all the time - seriously hot. He said it's because I've gained weight. He didn't say I was fat. But he pointed to the obvious.

I do like him still - kinda.

Lastly, whenever I eat a meal, I like to bless my food. As I was sitting there getting ready to eat what was - unknowingly at the time - going to be my last Doritos-cheese-bean-corn-olives-sourcream-guacamole mixture, I folded my arms to ask a blessing on the food and realized how unhealthy that meal was and how dare I ask the Lord for a blessing on something that is not good for my body. I laughed at the situation and realized then and there something needed to be done and it needed to be done quickly. It was finally, finally time.

And I LOVE the Lord for His help in this decision and the strength to do it right.

Motivation enough you think?

Sincerely,
Tara LaRue, MLC

Loved this quote:

"Very often when you try to see things in their largest form, you get discouraged and feel that it's impossible."

--John H. Johnson

231 is an impossibly high number. But it's just that. A number. One that as I chip away at, it will become smaller, even if it's by a measure of 1. Smaller is smaller.

And not so embarrassing. Or intimidating. Or scary.

Or impossible.

Time To Exercise (Did you hear my BLECH after that?!?)

Whoooo boy. This is what I have been staring at for well over a month now. He joined my family (well, my house) back in April and has been staring at me and mocking me since then.

I woke up this morning at this time...

(That is really the clock on my dresser)

...and decided ENOUGH! It's time to put that machine to good use. And that I did. I walked on it for 20 minutes this morning. My goal is over 30 minutes every day, but I haven't exercised in literally YEARS so I need to start slow. And it was SLOW: 2.5 miles/hour, moving up to 3 miles/hour. On a treadmill that's agonizingly slow.

But I'm moving and I felt great afterwards.

My only complaint is my internal heater would not turn off and putting on makeup this morning was a total joke.

But I'm feeling great. And if my sister's scale is accurate, I lost a total of 5 pounds since Thursday night. Made getting out of bed this morning easy and even a tad enjoyable.

I get weighed at the doctor's office on Thursday, so hopefully the scale will read at the very most 226, but hopefully less than that. I'm prolly expecting too much. I know.

That's okay.

I'm GONNA KICK THIS!

231

It's just a number. It's just a number. It's...

...my friggin' WEIGHT as of last night. ZOIKS!

As a lot of you know, I've managed to get out of debt recently, all the while making myself accountable to YOU. It's the only thing in my entire adult life that has worked for me because I wasn't just answering to myself. I had all 3 of you to answer to (okay - maybe there were 4-5 of you).

Time to do that with my weight. I have gained weight bit by bit, day by day, month by month, and year by year since I had my thyroid removed five years ago. I weigh more today than I ever have in my entire life.

My justification? I haven't had a man in my life for well over 10 years to get daily comfort and guidance and love. Yet food - oh delicious spicy-nacho-cheese-doritos-covered-with-cheese-beans-corn-olives-morecheese-guacamole-sourcream delights that made me so happy was always, ALWAYS waiting and willing and welcoming with open arms. Daily.

And my protruding gut continues to show that love.

YUCK.

I need to get control. I need to change what makes me happy. I need to like myself again. I need to be healthy. I need to get control of my headaches. I need to turn 40 feeling like I'm 30.

I need your encouragement and guidance and support and I need your stern disapproval when I slip. I need to be held accountable and I need you.

231 will NOT be shown on any scale that I ever step on EVER AGAIN.